What Wives Want In A Vacation
Posted on 18 August 2008 by cory
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Are you wondering what to do for your next vacation with your wife? Has she left the planning up to you and now you don’t know what to do? Take the following tips into account when planning your next vacation.
Take Care of The Kids. Every mother is going to worry about her kids while she is away from them. Make sure that the kids are set up with a really great baby sitter. For your information, a really great babysitter is someone who: 1) your wife knows and trusts, 2) the kids know and trust, 3) will make sure that your kids stick to the regular schedule while you are gone, with a little extra fun thrown in to take the edge off of you being out of town. If you’ll be gone for more than a couple of days, arrange for breaks for the sitter like a day with family or friends.
A few extra tips to make vacations easier on the kids: invite the sitter to stay at your house so the kids will be more comfortable, record a video of Mom and Dad for the kids to watch while you’re away, make a calendar for them to mark off the time you’re gone.
Also, a few tips to make the time away from the kids easier on you (the husband): set a once a day rule for checking in with the kids, set a goal to let go of the guilt over being away, choose a vacation spot that isn’t full of kids, pack a photo, and bring back some cool gifts.
Make Sure the Vacation is Planned. If you’re like me, and the thought of planning a trip itinerary makes you start to panic a little bit, here’s an idea: plan a great beginning, a fun activity in the middle, and a relaxing ending to the vacation. There’s a fine balance between planning too much and not planning enough. If you hit that fine balance, then your wife will feel like you put some serious effort into planning the vacation and she will feel loved and special for the work that went into it.
You might start with arriving at the hotel early in the day, checking in, resting from the trip, and starting the evening off with a romantic walk in order to get familiar with the area, capped by a really great dinner. The next day or a couple of days later have a really great activity planned like visiting an aquarium, scuba diving, seeing an active volcano, or something else really interesting and memorable. Making this the middle of the vacation activity gives you opportunity to explore and get to know the area, and forestalls boredom from setting in when you don’t know what to do. Finally, spending the last day of the vacation just walking or resting allows you to get rejuvenated so that you don’t come home needing a vacation from your vacation.
Do something different. Along the lines of making sure your trip is planned, make sure you try something different. Try new foods. Pick up snippets of a new language. Participate in some activity that you would never have the opportunity to do at home. It doesn’t have to be expensive either. Doing something different builds a sense of anticipation, keeps you interested while you’re there, and gives you something to talk about when you go home. Oh, by the way, thirty percent of women will choose an exotic destination versus just nineteen percent for men.
Sex. While we men tend to equate romance with sex, women often do not. While your wife may love to love you, chances are she’s just looking for some relaxation at the beginning of a vacation, then to make love later. This is especially true if you have kids together. While it is true that about 20 percent of vacationing couples rarely leave the bedroom, about 49 percent say they have sex a few times, and 14 percent say they are too exhausted to have sex at all.
In the end, your wife is the best source of information on planning a great trip. If you know what she likes, then you should be okay. If you’re not sure, then planning a vacation can be a great opportunity to find out a little bit more about her and what she enjoys doing in her leisure time.
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Tags | Marriage, travel, vacation
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August 18th, 2008 at 4:38 am
If only I could get my wife to agree to a vacation, even a short one, without the kids! Not likely this year. Great article!
August 18th, 2008 at 4:07 pm
20% of couples never leave their hotel room?! Sounds a little OCD to me. If you’re not going to leave your room you might as well just save money have sex in your closet for a week.
August 18th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Sex in the closet? We do that all the time. I want something *different* for a vacation.
Seriously, there are some excellent suggestions here. If the grandparents are willing and able, dropping the kids off with them while mom and dad vacation can be cool, too — the kids get a fun “vacation” at the same time mom and dad do. My folks used to do this when we were kids and I can honestly say we were never concerned or frightened by our parents being away. Didn’t even really miss them (much), as we knew they’d be back in a few days and in the meantime we were having a blast with the “grands.”
August 18th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
@Jenny Who knows how skewed the sampling was on this poll? I don’t know, but 20% does indeed seem a little high to me.
There is something to be said for getting away from the kids and normal life stress and having time to be together.
Plus, being in an exotic locale can add a little spiciness to the lovemaking, yes?
August 19th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Ah, yes. It also depends on the type of hotel that you’re staying at.
August 19th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
In order for this to work, you have to make it a priority. This has to be something that’s planned, budgeted for and understood.
As far as babysitting– you need to make sure to work up to this kind of thing. If you go from never being separate to being away for a week your family will be a mess when you get back.
August 20th, 2008 at 12:02 am
@MintheGap – You’re right perhaps. Each family needs to find out what they are comfortable with. Each parent will know what their family can take.
August 22nd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
@cory huff: There’s no reason that you can’t work up to a big vacation, I just don’t think that you go right from no vacations to a week long one– unless you want to have a real “adventure” when you return.
August 24th, 2008 at 7:57 pm
This is a great article and not just for men. I love to travel but tend to over plan. Next time I’ll use the “beginning, middle and end” advice then leave the rest of the time open for possibilities that present themselves as we go.
Thanks