Tips for Dads – How to Soothe a Crying Baby
Posted on 04 September 2008 by Jeremy
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No parent likes to hear their baby cry. The high-pitched screaming combined with the bright red face oftentimes is enough to send moms or dads into panic mode. While remaining calm is definitely key to success, it is a tall order for any parent, but more especially for dads who aren’t sure how soothe a crying child.
Why is it more stressful for dads? Because we like to fix things…immediately; however, turning off a baby’s tears is not as simple as fixing a leaky faucet. And, unfortunately, there are times when nothing you do works to calm an upset child. Not to fear, though, there are some simple techniques that dads can use that will work the majority of the time.
Here are a few Tips for Soothing a Crying Baby:
1. Eliminate the easy reasons why your child might be upset, like hunger or dirty diaper. Most of the time, if your baby is crying, it’s because he or she wants something. Check the child’s diaper and change it if necessary. If you’re baby is working on a poop, then it may take a while to calm her, especially since some babies might not poop every day and build-up gas “poop-losions.” After you try the diaper, warm-up a bottle and offer it to the baby.
2. The five “S”s from The Happiest Baby on the Block. If you haven’t seen the Happiest Baby DVD, it is worth every penny when it comes to soothing your child. Basically, it covers the art of swaddling, side/stomach (positioning), shhhushing, swinging and sucking. All of these 5 things can be used together or separately to help calm your child. Personally, I have found that swaddling, shhhushing and swaying with my kids almost always works, if they are tired or overstimulated.
3. Stand up, sway and sing or hum. Babies like to be held, and you shouldn’t worry about spoiling them. Many times just being close to you makes them feel better. If holding them alone doesn’t work, then stand up and hold the baby with her head close to your neck. Sway back and forth and sing or hum softly. The combination of the closeness, motion and sound will likely put your baby to sleep, and this technique has earned many a dad the title of “sleepinator.”
4. Make sure he isn’t too warm or cold. Babies are very sensitive to temperature, and it’s not always good to have your child wrapped in multiple layers of clothes and blankets. A good rule of thumb is to give your baby one extra layer than you are comfortable with in the room. Also, if you’re outside with the child, it is important to protech him from the sun, but it may be hard to do that for very long without making him too hot. Plan for shorter periods outside during warm or cold months, and if your child gets upset, trying going into a more controlled environment.
5. Walk, dance, stroll or drive. Find the type of motion that your baby likes, but only use it as a last resort. Why? Do you really want to have to walk around the block or drive around the neighborhood every time your baby cries? Save this technique as your ace in the hole or last resort.
6. Smile, make funny faces, talk to her. Attitude is contagious, even among babies. Your child can tell whether you’re happy, sad or stressed. Take a deep breath, smile and make bright eyes at her – I guarantee that when she smiles back at you it will make everything “all better” for both of you.
7. Pacify. This is my least favorite technique, but sometimes it’s the only one that works. Ever hear the expression, “like taking candy from a baby?” Well, this technique is like giving candy to a baby. Pacifiers may get your child to stop crying in the moment, but it will be a battle later to get her to stop using it if a habit is developed. Some babies find their thumbs or fingers quickly, and this may be slightly better if only because the child learns to soothe himself. I’ve seen some dads stick their own fingers in a baby’s mouth to calm him, which to me is totally disgusting – do you know how dirty our hands are? You may need to resort to pacification, but I wouldn’t recommend relying on it as a primary means of soothing your child.
Here are some additional resources you may find useful:
Seven Reasons Babies Cry and How to Soothe Them
10 Dad Tested Ways to Soothe a Crying Baby
21 Ways to Soothe Your Crying Baby
These techniques have worked well with my kids, but I’m definitely interested in learning what has worked for you? Moms often have the luxury of soothing through breast feeding, which is also a great way for bonding; however, dads obviously need to find different ways to calm baby.
What are some ways that you’ve found work to calm a crying baby?
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Tags | calm a child, crying baby, Happiest Baby on the Block, parenting tips, soothe a child, tips for dad
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September 4th, 2008 at 6:02 pm
I’m not a dad, but I love letting babies suck on my finger. It’s adorable – but I always wash first.
“Sleepinator..” LOL. Awesome.
I wonder what other methods people use for getting their kids to sleep.
September 4th, 2008 at 6:48 pm
Although my girls have moved past this phase (my youngest starts kindergarten today…guys…it’s really tough not to get misty watching your little girl get on the bus: that’s a different post).
Something that always worked well for me was to talk calmly in a normal voice. What does that mean? If I talked baby talk (you know higher pitch) it did nothing. I have a fairly deep voice for normal speech and that worked best. But keep talking. I would read out of my textbooks from college or the newspaper to keep going. It doesn’t really matter what you say as long as they hear their daddy’s voice.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:52 pm
Our first baby – EASY, batteries included. Our second, WOW. I felt like I didn’t sleep for a year.
But driving ALWAYS worked.
September 5th, 2008 at 2:32 am
Our son never took to a paci. He’d spit it out at a distance if we even tried. He would, however, suck on a (yes CLEAN) finger. He preferred my pinkie. When he wasn’t nursing, that is. He also never sucked his own thumb or fingers.
Here’s what worked for my husband:
car seat, on top of dryer (or washer on spin cycle).
glider ottoman (going side to side) with son facing down on hubby’s lap.
sitting in bathroom with the shower and/or fan going.
September 5th, 2008 at 2:56 am
My three most tried and true and used methods are….
Distance myself to the point of being out of ear shot. Works wonders.
Call grandma.
Drop him off at my lesbian neighbors house where there are always TWO women around to do it.
September 5th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
Michael spent a lot of time on top of the dryer. For the first year of his life, the laundry room was the cleanest room in the house. I had a lot of spare time to pick things up and wipe down surfaces in there while he was strapped to his bouncy seat there.
This is a great list.
Would be nice to address colic as well. I had to deal with that with three kids. Fierce, prolonged and inconsolable crying. Nothing you try helps. It can really wear a parent down in no time; you end up thinking you’re the worst parent in the world because you can’t soothe your own baby. Sometimes, there’s just nothing you can do.
September 5th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
I don’t know what it is about fans but our 9 month old loves the sound of the fan at night so we put a small one in his room and turn it on till he’s asleep. Must be all that white noise but it really works for him. I think sometimes my kids bring me to tears more than the other way around.
September 7th, 2008 at 12:56 am
>Pacifiers may get your child to stop crying in the moment, but it will be a battle later to get her to using it if a habit is developed
It is easier to take away a pacifier than it is to stop them sucking their fingers. If you see your child sucking their them, replace it with a pacfier immediately or the habit will be much, much harder to break later on.
November 12th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
My 7 week old calms down and listens every time I sing to him, but only in a very low register. Anything higher pitched than the average Johnny Cash song and he doesn’t like it so much…
January 30th, 2009 at 4:26 am
#1 crying inconsolably for 4-12 hours for the first four weeks of life (it was a protein intolerance issue) and #2 was easy as pie (karma). Neither however fell for the riding in a car/sit on the dryer/vibrating bouncy seat! Nor did they appreciate swaddling their arms – hated it! I didn’t know what to do. Both loved gentle rhythmic patting on the bottom while being bounced close to my chest and rhythmic shushing worked fairly well. Also a lot of crying was due to not burping enough and of course they suck in more air when they cry. Last ditch effort – ipod and dancing with screaming baby somehow calmed both of us. And if its completely getting to you – put the kid down and watch tv for 20 min. Nobody ever died of crying!
April 15th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
Not that I’m impressed a lot, but this is more than I expected for when I found a link on SU telling that the info is awesome. Thanks.
July 3rd, 2009 at 4:04 am
Thanks for the tips man! Great for first time dads like me.. I want to be a great hand on dad! My methods are:
feed him
call mommy
and if everything else fails – Like surfer jay
call grandma
-JASON
March 31st, 2010 at 10:33 pm
It’s positive to take a look at bloggers talking about baby care and newborn issues alot more frequently more recently. Many thanks for the posting, I saw this on aol.
June 9th, 2010 at 4:37 pm
My daughter, our first child, screams until she’s red. I know people say babies are adorable, but I have to say only when they are quiet! From my experience with my daughter, I can’t understand why anyone would have more than one. Sorry, might not sound good, but that’s how I feel. I’m just not loving her right now. I am deprived of sleep and doing things I enjoy. Caring for a baby is soooo much work.