The Power of Praise
Posted on 02 September 2008 by Jeremy
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“Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A world of optimism and hope. A ‘you can do it’ when things are tough.” -Richard M. DeVos, Co-founder of Amway
I’m a very strong believer in the power of praise to influence behavior in others. Husbands and fathers have the ability to guide and influence family members and help them on their development path. As leaders, it is important to let people know the things that they do right and encourage them to repeat behaviors that produce good results. Too often, people take the easy way out and focus only on weaknesses or areas of opportunity.
I really like the book How Full is Your Bucket by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton. The book uses the metaphor of filling a bucket to illustrate the importance and impact of filling other people’s souls with praise and positivity. Think you’re good at filling buckets? Take the Positive Impact Test to see if you’re right.
Many people have the false perception that praise given too often will decrease productivity, or deplete the ‘hunger’ inside of others to do more than what is expected. In reality, the opposite is true. When people don’t receive praise or positive reinforcement yet they do receive criticisms or negative feedback, then the direct result is a decrease in productivity and motivation.
Like anything, though, it can go too far. Over-the-top praise may seem disingenuous, and a lack of balanced feedback doesn’t help a person improve performance or grow in their role. It’s OK to be liberal with praise though - it almost always inspires short-term changes in behaviors. Sustainability of positive behaviors over the long haul, though, is linked to a combination of praise and accountability.
Effective use of praise helps to make sure that your direct reports, co-workers, spouse, kids and friends know that you appreciate them. By contrast, you may be surprised at what the Bucket Book sites as the real costs to an organization when workers feel under appreciated due to negativity and a lack of praise. A similar correlation could be made to the relationship costs within your family when you fail to ensure your wife and kids feel valued.
When a person feels valued, he or she will be much more motivated to do a good a job; be a good spouse; be a happy child; become a better friend; and, maximize their potential through enhanced confidence and self-esteem. Positive reinforcement is one of the most powerful tools available to you as a husband and father - I hope it’s not one of those tools collecting dust in the garage next to the power saw you never use.
I believe in the power of praise. What about you?
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Tags | family, marriage strategies, motivating others, parenting strategies, positive reinforcement, praise, Relationships, Richard M DeVos
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September 2nd, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Yes, I absolutely agree! Giving praise regularly helps kids with their self esteem and it makes them feel great when their parents approve of something they did (especially during those rough teenage years).
This works around the office, too. I’ve noticed I get in to the “my job sucks” attitude, but whenever I’m complimented and told I’m doing a good job, I feel better about my job and things begin to flow.
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:14 pm
I could not agree with this more. I’m serious when I write what I’m about to.
I want to write a post about how the comment section on my blog gave me more verbal love then a lifetime with my father, but I know it would kill him and he reads the blog everyday.
But it’s still true.
September 3rd, 2008 at 12:19 am
I agree with this completely. All to often in the life people focus on blaming someone else or what went wrong. My kids respond great when we praise them for doing the right things. The same thing is true in the corporate environment.
September 3rd, 2008 at 1:30 am
“you may be surprised at what the Bucket Book sites as the real costs to an organization when workers feel under appreciated due to negativity and a lack of praise
I absolutely wouldn’t. I picked a mind bogglingly tedious, asinine job simply because the people I work with are incredible. My bosses are fantastic - considerate, polite, and always quick with a compliment. No surprise that I’ve worked here longer than at other positions (litigation) where the attitude was completely different.
September 3rd, 2008 at 5:10 am
Praise is my love language. You can pretty much ask me to do anything, and if you compliment me while I’m doing it, I’ll do it forever.
I think the reason I got through my childhood was because my mother always praised me, even when I didn’t deserve it.
What do you guys do to make sure you praise your kids and spouses?
September 3rd, 2008 at 3:02 pm
I think positive reinforcements is a powerful tool in raising kids.
I have used it for the following:
- walking
- toilet training
- being brave for that booster shot
- “What other words starts with ‘b’?”
My praise always includes the arms-raised Yay! It’s gets my almost 4 years old girl giggling all the time!
Will be using these too on my 2nd kid, he’s now coming to 8 months old!
April 14th, 2009 at 7:06 pm
It is important to give positive feedback. It is equally important to give constructive negative feedback–in as much as it is CONSTRUCTIVE. Telling someone what they’ve done wrong in order that they might do it better next time is important. It allows people to grow. Disingenuous praise is not helpful. If you know you’re going to get praised for mediocrity, why excel? The best way to approach this is to try and look for things to compliment people on. If you’re going to give them positive feedback, make sure it’s deserved. Look for ways to praise people, but sometimes the best feedback you can give a person is, “look, you did this wrong. Let me show you the right way to do it.” When you overcome challenges, and you deserve the praise, that is when it feels best, that is when it is needed most. Look for those moments.