Ladies, this one is for you.  When your dear, sweet husband is getting on your nerves because he is so tense, or he’s getting all up in your business and you need some time alone, you might try one of these brilliant moves.

Guys, this one is for you.  Do yourselves a favor, and email this article to your wives.  Heck, print it off and give it to her if you have to.

Sex.  Most wives have experienced the post sex snore.  Besides the fact that sex often occurs at night when it’s easy to fall asleep, sex is a lot of physical work, and during orgasm, men’s brains release a chemical known as prolactin, which is present in people’s brains in high amounts during sleep.  As a side note, four times as much prolactin is released during intercourse as there is during masturbation.  In other words, wives, we really do need your help on this one.

Video Games. Racing games, puzzles, RPG’s, first person shooters – don’t understand any of that terminology?  That’s okay.  Odds are, your husband does.  About 80% of video game players are men ages 18 – 35.  Obviously video games are not just the realm of little boys any more.  Guys use the gaming time as a way to forget responsibilities and pressures that are weighing them down.  If you don’t like to play games with him, sit him down in front of the TV or pack him into the car and send him to a friend’s house and tell him not to come back until he’s achieved at least level 25 on Xbox Live’s Halo 3.

Sports.  We all need exercise in order to release muscle tension, but some guys need more physical activity to relax.  A weekly basketball game, a flag football pickup game, racquetball, tennis…heck, ping pong might even do the trick.  Guys brains get engaged when they play sports and after a couple hours of physical exertion, there’s all those endorphins flowing and it’s a lot easier to sit down and listen to you talk.  Get him a gym membership and drop him off on your way to the spa.

Manual Labor. Does your husband have a mini wood-working shop in the garage?  Does he like to garden?  Does he like to build things with his hands?  If he’s getting cranky you might be able to kill two birds with one stone: tell him to go to Lowe’s, pick up some lumber, and build that impenetrable fortress for the chickens that you haven’t yet told him you’re going to raise.

Watching TV/Movies. An hour or two of watching his favorite crime drama or sporting event can put your man in a better mood.  Tell him to stop picking at the food on the stove and go relax in front of the TV.  He might even be grateful.

Fishing.  Don’t ask me why, but for some reason many guys associate fishing with relaxation.  While I may not understand it, there’s something to be said for being in a quiet place in the woods next to a lake.  Of course, if you catch something, that’s not really very relaxing.  Perhaps it has something to do with all of the beer that my stepdad drank while he was out “fishing.”

Food.  As the saying goes, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.  Besides tryptophan-laced turkey, there are lots of other foods that can induce a relaxed state of being.  Do you know your husband’s favorite recipes?  Do you make them?  Secret trick: find out what foods your mother-in-law used to make for your husband as a little boy and make those on occasion – your husband will adore you.  Just remember to make it the way mom made it.

Pulling us away from work. Some of us really like to work.  Even when we say that we’re going to not work, we think about work.  It’s probably even part of one of the qualities you like in your husband.  Sometimes even the work we like stresses us out though.  Pull your man away from the computer, make him stand up from the desk, take away his Crackberry, and push him into one of the other activities above.

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Somewhere along the way, though, exercise no longer became as important to me.  Amidst work and family, I lost my motivation to work out.  My concern with this is that my body has begun to change in ways that I definitely do not like.  Things are sagging and bulging, and don’t get me started on the entire hair thing (thinning on my head yet growing like a grizzly everywhere else).  I don’t want to end up looking like a deflated balloon with rolls of extra skin covering layers of fat where muscle once used to be.

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The National Center for Health Statistics says that 70% of men 20 years or older are overweight. In order to be considered “overweight,” a person has a Body Mass Index of 25.0 – 29.9.  My current BMI is 29.5, compared to a 24.5 during the period in my life when I felt most healthy.  A simple way to calculate BMI is weight (lbs) x 703 divided by height (in) squared, or lbs x 703/in².

Fortunately for me, I’m a tall guy (6 foot 3 inches), so I can carry a little extra weight without looking like I’m really fat…until I take my shirt off.  The majority of the weight I’ve gained has been around my waist and buttocks.  This visceral fat has more than covered the six pack abs of yesteryear and replaced them with the proverbial spare tire.

The question I often ask myself is “how did I let it get this bad?”  It’s not like I have a good excuse, like being pregnant, to look to for justification. Although, I did eat enough for two during both of our pregnancies with my 2 youngest.

The answer is not as elusive as might think.  In most cases, barring a major injury, it is a result of our own failure to prioritize fitness that we end up looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.  In short, my motivation went to my stomach – I substituted eating for working out as a stress reliever.  It is a result of my decisions that my body has begun to balloon and soften.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

After a while, the substitution became habit, and it has been a really hard habit to break, in spite of the potential health concerns.  Obesity is linked to several conditions, including heart disease, Type 2 diabetes and sleep apnea.

Shouldn’t that be motivation enough to start working out again?  It’s not.

Here’s a few reasons why I think I’ve lost my fitness motivation:

1.  I’m happily married; or, I’m not in the meat market anymore

2.  My confidence is no longer primarily linked to physical appearance; I value mental and spiritual things much more now.

3.  My time is valuable, and I choose to spend it on more cerebral activities, like writing

4.  Life isn’t about me so much anymore – it’s about the kids and family, so going to the gym for several hours per day doesn’t seem right to me.

I’ll never be motivated to spend hours in the gym every day again.  There’s just too many other things that I’d rather do with my time.  Still, I need to find ways to incorporate some physical activity into my life again, if only to get my BMI down closer to where it used to be (BMI of 25 – 26 would be great).

Here’s 10 things I’ve done this summer to get me going on this new journey back to find my fitness motivation:

1.  Stopped drinking soda altogether

2.  Eating more fruits and vegetables as snacks

3.  Cut back significantly on chips and sweets

4.  Eat smaller portion sizes

5.  Try not to eat after midnight

6.  Go for a one mile walk 5 days per week

7.  Go hiking with one of my kids once per week

8.  Dumbbell lifting twice a week

9.  Old fashioned push ups and sit ups twice a week

10.  Wrestling and roughhousing with the kids as often as possible

So far, I’ve lost about six pounds, and I’m starting to feel like I’m getting my fitness motivation back.  It’s not at the same level as it was many years ago, but it is enough to get me on the path of achieving my goal of not being another big, fat male statistic.

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