The Winners of the Top Referrer Contest are:

1. Brett from Art of Manliness - 478 unique visitors referred
2. Mike from Mens News Daily - 206 unique visitors referred
3. Lin from Telling It Like It Is - 81 unique visitors referred

The Winners of the Forums Registration Contest are:

1. DC Urban Dad
2. The Rogue Parent

We also want to thank our sponsors for providing these outstanding prizes to the winners:

Top Referrer
Grand Prize - $100 gift card to use at the online family bookstore Abunga.com
Second Prize - $25 gift card to the “smart” savings company SmartyPig
Third Prize - Variety pack of Man Cards from Thoughtful Gent, Inc

Register for Forums Winner
Grand Prize - Schick Quattro Titanium Trimmer
Second Prize - $10 Joe’s Crab Shack gift card

Thanks again to everyone who has subscribed to Husbands & Dads and continue to spread the word about the site! Please feel free to let us know if there is anything we can do to improve, or if there are any specific topics that you would like to see us cover in more depth.

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

10 of the most Frequently Asked Questions By Susan P. Epstein, LCSW, Parent Coach

Parenting in the 21^st century is challenging and confusing for most parents. Families look and are different than years ago. Dads are raising kids more and more and more and more are the primary caregivers. We have to parent differently now. What values do we want to pass on? What do we want to teach our kids? What kind of people do we want them to be? Dads need to provide an environment for their children that is nurturing and loving with clear expectations and consequences that teach but do not shame. A Parent Coach can help with these challenges.

1. Question: What are some key reasons that a dad would seek out a Parent Coach’s help?

Answer: You have a child with difficult behavior (lack of respect, anger, back-talk, interrupting, tantrums, etc), or who is acting out or not doing well in school.  Also if you are going through: divorce, remarriage, blending a family, trauma or loss, teen alcohol or drug use, or if you want to improve family communication, balance or support.

2. Question: What should I look for in a Parent Coach?

Answer: An expert in the areas of child development and family dynamics.  They should be non-judgemental, good at building rapport, creative (they tailor plans to your family’s needs), patient, and a good teacher and mentor.

3. Question: What if I have already read parenting books and taken my child to a therapist and I am still struggling?

Answer: That’s okay and it means that you are searching for answers. Parent coaching can help because the coach works with you to tailor a parenting plan for your family.

4. Question: I have a special needs child and/or my child has been diagnosed with ADD/ADHD, Conduct Disorder or Bipolar Disorder. Can a parent coach help us?

Answer: Absolutely, most children/teens will respond to a behavioral plan if the plan is designed for their developmental stage and age.

5. Question: Is waiting until your child is a teenager too late to change their behavioral patterns?

Answer: It is best to start as early as possible. But, even if they are 16 or 17 years old you can still turn that behavior around fairly quickly with the right plan.

6. Question: What is the biggest challenge that dads face in today’s world?

Answer: That has to be a combination of disrespect from their children and parent guilt. They go hand in hand. “If I discipline my child for being inappropriate he won’t like me but then I feel guilty because I know that I am not setting limits and this isn’t good for him.” A dad may feel guilty because he is stretched thin and overwhelmed. This is especially difficult with divorce where the kids are going back and forth between two homes. If dad doesn’t want to be “the bad guy” he might let behaviors go that need to be addressed.

7. Question: What are some of the biggest fears that dads have?

Answer: Dads believe that if they yell and scream at their kids that they will damage their children for life. They are also told that if they spank their kids that Child Protection Services will be knocking on the door.  Some dads are afraid to utilize their power and feel as if their hands are tied and they don’t know what to do.

8. Question: How does parent coaching take place?

Answer: Weekly parent telephone sessions and email, group parent telephone sessions, in-home sessions, and coaching products like books, DVDs and audio CDs.

9. Question: What if I am interested in hiring a parent coach but not sure?

Answer: Most parent coaches will provide a free consultation to see if you can work together.

10. Question: How long would I work with my parent coach and what are the costs?

Answer: Every coach has their own recommendations based on the family situation. Minimum is usually 3 months up until 12 months. Sometimes after a period of time weekly calls aren’t as necessary and the appointments can be shorter and less frequent.

Cost varies depending on your coach’s experience and expertise. Expect to pay

$500 -$1200/month for individual coaching. On paper it seems like a lot of money but most parents will tell you it was well worth the cost since the alternative of doing nothing could cost 10 to 20 times that amount. (Residential schools, therapies and medications, attorneys).

Group coaching is less expensive because you are sharing time with other parents. But, this can also be beneficial, knowing you are not alone!

Respect begins at home. When children don’t respect parents, they rarely respect their teachers and if they don’t respect their teachers this transfers to other authority figures such as neighbors, coaches and law enforcement. As young adults they have difficulty holding a job because they lack the social skills and respect that is necessary to make it in society.

Susan P. Epstein, LCSW, Parent Coach, works with parents whose children and adolescents are unmanageable. Susan graduated from the University of California at Berkeley School of Social Welfare.  She is a licensed clinical social worker in Connecticut and Rhode Island and also completed training with the Coaches Training Institute. Susan has written and published two parenting books, “The Take Back Your Parenting Powers System” and “Are You Tired of Nagging?” An expert in the areas of family dynamics, parenting and child development, Susan will uncover and unleash your parenting power. Get your free special report on how to get well behaved kids now at: www.ParentingPowers.com

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

We appreciate you referring friends and family men to Husbands & Dads!  Make sure to get your easy entry by joining out Forums!

Here are the details of entry:

Husbands & Dads has teamed up with some exciting partners in order to create our first ever contest geared towards rewarding you for referring your friends to the site. The contest will have 2 parts - one will reward the Top Referring blog/personal site and the other will reward registered members of the Forums.

Husbands & Dads Refer A Friend Contest

Top Referrer

Grand Prize - $100 gift card to use at the online family bookstore Abunga.com

Second Prize - $25 gift card to the “smart” savings company SmartyPig

Third Prize - Variety pack of Man Cards from Thoughtful Gent, Inc.

Register for Forums Winner

Grand Prize - Schick Quattro Titanium Trimmer

Second Prize - $10 Joe’s Crab Shack gift card

Rules:

Top Referrer - the top referring blog or personal website from Monday, October 6, 2008, through Friday, October 31, 2008, will win the Grand Prize. The second highest referrer will win the Second Prize. Referrals will be measured in unique visits to HusbandsandDads.com. You may want to write a blog post recommending the site to your readers, include a link in your blogroll or come up with a unique way to refer people. You may also want to grab one of our badges from below and use them as well!

Register for Forums - we will select 2 random members who are registered for the Husbands & Dads Forums. You must be an active member, which means that you need to have at least one post/reply during the month. Pretty easy, huh!?! Register for the Forums now to enter.

Here are a few Husbands & Dads badges for you to grab and use on your site to get referrals:

Thanks again to everyone for helping make the launch of Husbands & Dads such a great success! We also hope that you will refer the site to a friend and encourage him to subscribe and register for the Forums! Good luck to everyone!

Make sure to visit Abunga.com for your favorite family books!

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

If you noticed, we recently exceeded 300 subscribers and about 10 percent of you have also signed up for the forums.  While this is a good number, we believe that the articles posted here and topics started in the forums are more exciting when there are lots of comments and replies.

In short, the more people who come to the site, subscribe, leave a comment, join the Forums and participate in both, the more valuable this experience becomes to everyone involved. Husbands & Dads website and forums are both places where “it’s cool to be a family man,” but we need more men (and women) to participate in both venues, and we’re asking for your help!

Husbands & Dads has teamed up with some exciting partners in order to create our first ever contest geared towards rewarding you for referring your friends to the site.  The contest will have 2 parts - one will reward the Top Referring blog/personal site and the other will reward registered members of the Forums.

Husbands & Dads Refer A Friend Contest

Top Referrer

Grand Prize - $100 gift card to use at the online family bookstore Abunga.com

Second Prize - $25 gift card to the “smart” savings company SmartyPig

Third Prize - Variety pack of Man Cards from Thoughtful Gent, Inc.

Register for Forums Winner

Grand Prize - Schick Quattro Titanium Trimmer

Second Prize - $10 Joe’s Crab Shack gift card

Rules:

Top Referrer - the top referring blog or personal website from Monday, October 6, 2008, through Friday, October 31, 2008, will win the Grand Prize.  The second highest referrer will win the Second Prize.  Referrals will be measured in unique visits to HusbandsandDads.com.  You may want to write a blog post recommending the site to your readers, include a link in your blogroll or come up with a unique way to refer people.  You may also want to grab one of our badges from below and use them as well!

Register for Forums - we will select 2 random members who are registered for the Husbands & Dads Forums.  You must be an active member, which means that you need to have at least one post/reply during the month.  Pretty easy, huh!?!  Register for the Forums now to enter.

Here are a few Husbands & Dads badges for you to grab and use on your site to get referrals:

Thanks again to everyone for helping make the launch of Husbands & Dads such a great success!  We also hope that you will refer the site to a friend and encourage him to subscribe and register for the Forums!  Good luck to everyone!

Make sure to visit Abunga.com for your favorite family books!

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

All of us want to become better fathers, and there is a lot to learn from great leaders of the past.

Here are 19 Things Dads Can Learn from Past Presidents:

1. Nobody is perfect. As John Adams said, “No man is entirely free from weakness and imperfection in this life.”

2. Values are a necessity in life. As Jimmy Carter said, “Our American values are not luxuries, but necessities— not the salt in our bread, but the bread itself.”

3. Punishment fits the crime. As Grover Cleveland said, “No man has ever yet been hanged for breaking the spirit of a law.”

4. Keep moving forward. As Bill Clinton said, “Yesterday is yesterday. If we try to recapture it, we will only lose tomorrow.”

5. You get what you pay for in life. As Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “There is no victory at bargain basement prices.”

6. Play fair and by the rules. As Millard Fillmore said, “An honorable defeat is better than a dishonorable victory.”

7. Life is not rocket science - don’t make things harder than they need to be. As Gerald Ford said, “Tell the truth, work hard, and come to dinner on time.”

8. Act on ideas and try new things. As James Garfield said, “Ideas control the world.”

9. Treat others with fairness, respect and dignity. As Benjamin Harrison said, “I pity the man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth will starve in the process.”

10. No one likes a show off. As Herbert Hoover said, “All men are equal before fish.”

11. Be careful what you say. As Thomas Jefferson said, “When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.”

12. Admit when you don’t know the answer or what to do. As Lyndon Johnson said, “You know, doing what is right is easy. The problem is knowing what is right.”

13. Embrace change. As John F. Kennedy said, “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

14. We all have something in common. As Abraham Lincoln said, “Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.”

15. Make the best of every situation. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

16. Take responsibility for your own actions. As Harry Truman said, “The buck stops here!”

17. Do a job right. As Martin Van Buren said, “It is easier to do a job right than to explain why you didn’t.”

18. Choose your friends wisely. As George Washington said, “Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.”

19. All of us are smarter than one of us. As Woodrow Wilson said, “I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.”

No matter what your political persuasion, there are many things Dads can learn from past Presidents of the United States. In addition to these useful insights, it is important for all parents to talk about the upcoming national election in the U.S. on November 4th. One of the smartest things any dad can do is teach his kids the importance of voting.

What is your favorite quote, maxim or lesson learned from a past U.S. President?

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Ladies, this one is for you.  When your dear, sweet husband is getting on your nerves because he is so tense, or he’s getting all up in your business and you need some time alone, you might try one of these brilliant moves.

Guys, this one is for you.  Do yourselves a favor, and email this article to your wives.  Heck, print it off and give it to her if you have to.

Sex.  Most wives have experienced the post sex snore.  Besides the fact that sex often occurs at night when it’s easy to fall asleep, sex is a lot of physical work, and during orgasm, men’s brains release a chemical known as prolactin, which is present in people’s brains in high amounts during sleep.  As a side note, four times as much prolactin is released during intercourse as there is during masturbation.  In other words, wives, we really do need your help on this one.

Video Games. Racing games, puzzles, RPG’s, first person shooters - don’t understand any of that terminology?  That’s okay.  Odds are, your husband does.  About 80% of video game players are men ages 18 - 35.  Obviously video games are not just the realm of little boys any more.  Guys use the gaming time as a way to forget responsibilities and pressures that are weighing them down.  If you don’t like to play games with him, sit him down in front of the TV or pack him into the car and send him to a friend’s house and tell him not to come back until he’s achieved at least level 25 on Xbox Live’s Halo 3.

Sports.  We all need exercise in order to release muscle tension, but some guys need more physical activity to relax.  A weekly basketball game, a flag football pickup game, racquetball, tennis…heck, ping pong might even do the trick.  Guys brains get engaged when they play sports and after a couple hours of physical exertion, there’s all those endorphins flowing and it’s a lot easier to sit down and listen to you talk.  Get him a gym membership and drop him off on your way to the spa.

Manual Labor. Does your husband have a mini wood-working shop in the garage?  Does he like to garden?  Does he like to build things with his hands?  If he’s getting cranky you might be able to kill two birds with one stone: tell him to go to Lowe’s, pick up some lumber, and build that impenetrable fortress for the chickens that you haven’t yet told him you’re going to raise.

Watching TV/Movies. An hour or two of watching his favorite crime drama or sporting event can put your man in a better mood.  Tell him to stop picking at the food on the stove and go relax in front of the TV.  He might even be grateful.

Fishing.  Don’t ask me why, but for some reason many guys associate fishing with relaxation.  While I may not understand it, there’s something to be said for being in a quiet place in the woods next to a lake.  Of course, if you catch something, that’s not really very relaxing.  Perhaps it has something to do with all of the beer that my stepdad drank while he was out “fishing.”

Food.  As the saying goes, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.  Besides tryptophan-laced turkey, there are lots of other foods that can induce a relaxed state of being.  Do you know your husband’s favorite recipes?  Do you make them?  Secret trick: find out what foods your mother-in-law used to make for your husband as a little boy and make those on occasion - your husband will adore you.  Just remember to make it the way mom made it.

Pulling us away from work. Some of us really like to work.  Even when we say that we’re going to not work, we think about work.  It’s probably even part of one of the qualities you like in your husband.  Sometimes even the work we like stresses us out though.  Pull your man away from the computer, make him stand up from the desk, take away his Crackberry, and push him into one of the other activities above.

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

As I drove up to where the ceremony was to be held, I saw several flashing lights and a plume of smoke.  No, this was not a reenactment of the events that happened on September 11, 2001.  This was an actual house fire two blocks away from city center.  All of the fire and rescue service volunteers who were planning to attend the Remembrance Ceremony were instead fighting to save the lives and property of one of our neighbors.

Two of the volunteers ushered me and the other cars through, and while I was greatly concerned for the family and their home I had a sense of pride to live in a community where an all-volunteer fire company still exists.  These brave men and women, along with the volunteer ambulance company and paid police officers, risk their lives to protect and serve our community, and they deserve our gratitude.

It was a prescient and vivid reminder of one of the reasons why I was attending the event this evening - to honor those who have, and would, willingly put their own lives on the line to save another.  More than 400 emergency workers died while serving others in the line of duty on September 11, 2001.

I pulled into the parking lot of City Hall and walked across the street to the park where the service was being held.  The sound of bagpipes filled the air, and members of the local American Legion were in attendance to perform colors.  A large tent was set-up with dozens of metal folding chairs lined in perfect rows.  There were enough seats to accommodate at least a hundred people.

Sadly, only about 40 people attended, including the guest speakers and members of local government.  During the opening prayer, I couldn’t help but wonder if we are too quick to forget the tragedies and bravery of 9/11.

What should we remember about September 11, 2001?

2975 people died (excluding the 19 hijackers)

Approximately 13,500 people escaped the World Trade Center buildings alive

Citizens of 115 nations died from the attacks

24 people are still listed as missing

Approximately 1600 spouses lost their husband/wife

The ratio of men to women who died is 3:1

The number of children who lost a parent is 3051

About 200 people jumped from the World Trade Center towers to their deaths

The center of American military leadership and might was attacked

A group of heroic passengers thwarted the efforts of hijackers and lost their lives in a field near Shanksville, PA

There were no survivors on any of the four planes hijacked and crashed

The world stock markets experienced an accumulated loss of more than $1.5 trillion

or,

The price of freedom in America has gone up billions of dollars and cost thousands of lives

9/11 Memorial at Arlington Cemetery

As I sat and listened to the guest speakers address the small audience of people in attendance, I wondered if the other 6000+ people in my town had forgotten what day it was, or had they simply moved on from the events of September 11, 2001?

Is it time for us as Americans, or those from any nation that experienced a loss on that fateful day, to stop the ceremonies, make peace with our past and forgive?  I thought about the wives, husbands, daughters and sons of all the victims - how did they spend this day?  What would they say or think about all the empty chairs under the tent at the ceremony this evening?  Would they understand?  Should they understand?

Time marches on, and it has now been seven years since the Towers fell, the Pentagon burned and the ashes of heroes scattered across the field in rural Pennsylvania.  The world has changed greatly in the last seven years, but a few things remain the same - there are thousands of families who will never forget the tragic losses of 9/11, and thankfully, there are thousands of volunteer fire/rescue members and police officers who would give their lives like their fallen brethren to save and protect us and our liberties.

The Remembrance Ceremony ended to the sound of Amazing Grace on the bagpipes followed by Taps on the bugle.  I said a prayer for the families of those who lost loved ones on 9/11; I said a prayer for those men and women fighting the fire two blocks away from us; and, I said a prayer for our nation to remember that our freedoms are not free.

Have we all really forgotten what happened on September 11, 2001?  I remember.  Do you?

Crash Site Memorial near Shanksville, PA

Twin Towers burning in front of Lady Liberty

Reference Articles:

9/11 by the Numbers

September 11 Attacks

The 9-11 Commission Final Report

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Just like coaches build play books by studying other teams’ plays and analyzing them in great detail, you need to put together a list of marriage resources that you can use to handle whatever marriage throws at you. Where to start you ask? Read the following suggestions. There are options ranging from the keep-yourself-anonymous (for you macho types out there) to the highly interactive (for the post-modern man).

Blogs and online discussion boards – Websites like this one, HusbandsandDads.com, provide articles, tips, resources, and discussion formats for all aspects of marriage. Blogs are highly interactive forms of media, and they’re great for discussing issues that you may not feel comfortable discussing with people you know, or for simply getting additional perspective on whatever is bothering you. I also highly recommend SimpleMarriage.net - Dr. Corey Allen has a fabulous blog about simplifying marriage and making it more fun and engaging.

Books – It seems as though everyone has written a book about marriage and relationships. Fortunately, there are many excellent books out there. Many books specialize in a certain area of relationships, like communication or sex. I highly recommend: The Act of Marriage by Tim Lahaye – it sexual relationships between husband and wife in gently clear detail, taking away the mystery and giving new insight into romantic love. The Five Love Languages, which breaks communication down into five simple categories, helping you to communicate love to your partner in a way they understand, and helping you understand what makes you feel loved.

MarriageAdvice.com - Advice from counselors. The site is built from a clinical perspective, but many of the articles are engaging, and it’s always good to hear a professional’s point of view. Also great for the man who likes to read but doesn’t have the attention span for longer media.

Your pastor - Many pastors are also qualified counselors or have taken classes in counseling. They also see things from a spiritual perspective which, if your religious views align, can be immensely helpful in your journey through marriage.

MarriageBuilders.com - Marriage Builders is an organization with a weekly radio broadcast, weekend marriage retreats, and has a bevy of coaches willing and ready to help you in your marriage. They’re not the only game in town, so if you can’t access their radio broadcast or their retreats, there are many more marriage retreats out there.

Your parents - It’s tough to do, but asking your parents for relationship advice can actually be a wonderfully helpful thing. If you respect your parents and they have made marriage work, it might be a good idea to swallow your pride and ask for some advice. The good thing about going to your parents, no matter what age you are, is that it can help build a closer bond with them as they help you work through whatever issue you might be having with marriage.

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

As your child grows into the teenage years, it’s healthy for him or her to develop their own identity and a sense of independence.  During this time, the relationship you have with them will be tested.  Some parents want their kids to treat them like a “friend,” but I’ve always found the my teenage daughter has enough friends.  She needs me to be a parent.  Still, I like to maintain a strong bond with her, even though it is at a further distance than prior times in her life.

10 Easy Ways to Bond with Your Teenager

1.  Schedule 2 days a month to spend time together one-on-one.  Let your teenager decide what to do on one day, then you decide what to do on the other.  Empower them to make decisions that you’ll actually agree to doing.  You may need to set some basic ground rules in advance, such as budget or time available.  Then, when it’s your turn to decide, pick something interesting and unexpected that might also be a pleasant surprise.

2.  Go to their games, practices or rehearsals.  They might not act like their scared, but most teens are nervous about competitive environments, mostly because they are afraid of failure.  Your presence is meaningful to them because you represent the strongest support network in their lives.  You may think that they’re ignoring you at these events, but they know you’re there and it does matter.

3.  Positive Talk - you show, they tell, every day.  Teenagers self-esteem hangs by a thread, and it’s easy for them to develop a habit of negative self talk.  You can enhance your relationship with them by setting a good example of positive self talk (show), while also teaching them to verbalize good things about themselves (tell).  Share with your teenager something you really like and appreciate about them every day, and then have them tell you something they really like about themselves too.  Make this about them and not you (trust me, that will not be hard to do - everything is about them!).

4.  Eat dinner together as a family.  Having a meal together as a family is an excellent way to open the door to family conversations.  If you’ve made this a habit prior to the teen years, then it will be easier to maintain afterward.  Teens will remember the family routines when they’re older, so you’re actually teaching them some important lessons now.  Get your teenager talking about his or her day.  Ask conversational questions.  Actively listen to them and engage in real, genuine conversation.  Put your work aside and turn the TV off.  Focus on your teen, and she will be more likely to focus on you.

5.  Help them with their homework or studies.  Making the transition from grade-to-grade during the teenage years is really hard for many kids, especially going from Middle School to High School.  Help your kids by setting rules, guidelines and expectations about homework and grades, and then take the time to help them build effective habits and understand the topics of study.  If they have a big test coming up, spend an hour quizzing them - you might actually learn some new things yourself!

6.  Volunteerism.  Most teenagers are involved in some kind of extracurricular activity, or you may be involved in something with the school or local community.  Either way, there is always a need for volunteers.  Ask your teenager what he or she is really passionate about, such as animals or the environment or elder care, then schedule some time to go and do volunteer work together.

7.  Pick a vacation destination that your teenager will actually enjoy.  Your teenager may feel like he or she is too old to go to Disneyland or Sea World, but Six Flags or Busch Gardens might be something they find more fun and exciting.  The beach is always a popular destination in the summer, and snow skiing is a fun winter activity.  Picking the right destination will greatly impact your teenager’s attitude about the trip, which will directly impact your ability to bond with him or her during that time.

8.  Enroll in an activity of their choice together.  Sign-up for karate, yoga, piano lessons, equestrian, the local 4-H or whatever they would like to do together with you (again within certain boundaries).  Doing activities like these with your teen gives you something in common to talk about other than school or friends or family.  It may also turn into something of great pride and satisfaction for you both.

9.  Play games - board games or video games.  This is one of my teenage daughter’s favorite things to do with me.  It’s easier to talk during board games, but video games may be slightly more exciting.  It’s hard to keep up with all of the video games, but it would be worth your while to learn how to play a few.  Many games also develop cognitive thinking skills, so you’re actually helping him or her while having fun.

10.  Be supportive of them when they fall.  Teens are an extremely emotional bunch.  They’re feelings are easily hurt, and every relationship they have is tenuous.  There are a lot of crying days for teens, so it creates an opportuntiy to comfort them, listen to and encourage them.

The bond you have with your teenager can be maintained with some effort on your part.  It may not seem like a big deal now, especially if you are feeling ignored or at odds with your teen, but they will remember it later in life. A father’s influence in a teenager’s life is critical.

Please feel free to share any tips you have for bonding with your teenager.

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Ray Hernandez, Co-Founder MyBabyOurBaby

MyBabyOurBaby.com allows parents to create a fun family eBook that friends and relatives can all help to build and write.  I created an eBook for my son Ty shortly after the site launched, and I’ve enjoyed sharing photos and “firsts” with family members since then.  I had a chance to talk with co-founder Ray Hernandez last week about the background and progress of the site since it’s launch earlier this year.

What is My Baby Our Baby? MyBabyOurBaby is a couple of different things. The most important thing that MyBabyOurBaby provides is a way for parents to archive and share their photos, memories, growth charts, and “firsts” with friends and family in a completely private environment. We also provide a social scrapbooking feature. Meaning that the friends and family you invite, can also have permission (you set your own permissions for people) to add photos or stories they may have collecting dust on their cameras or hard drives. So not only are you archiving memories, but your discovering new memories of your children that your friends and family have had with them and, possibly, not shared with you.

How did the concept for the site originate? When did the site launch? Me and Beau (Lebens - the other co-founder) are both in our late 20’s. All of our friends are getting married and having kids. Well, one-by-one we were being asked to design and build a website for our friend’s kids. We just realized that more people out there would probably be interested in a service like this. So we decided to take the initiative and just launch a full blown site for everyone.  The site officially launched on February 14, 2008.  It was a nice little Valentine’s present.

Does it cost users anything to sign-up or use the site? MyBabyOurBaby is completely free. We started off as a subscription-based service, but we just felt bad. We wanted people to be able to use our site with no obligations. So we switched our service to a free model. Under the free model you are allowed to upload 20 photos a month. And every month you get a fresh new 20. If you want to upload more than that, then we do have a premium service ($39.95 a year) that gives every person connected to your child the ability to upload an unlimited amount of photos. Other than unlimited uploads every other feature is completely free.

What are some of the cool things parents can do with the site? Can they take “books” they create and turn them into hard copies? You know how grandma is always yelling “Send me photos!” Well, if you invite grandma to MyBabyOurBaby, then she will instantly receive updates the second you post anything on the site. Friends and family can also comment on any story written about the child, if they are signed up. This is great when family members live in another city, state or country.

Hardcover books, prints, dvd archives…all of these things are in the works, and they will definitely be features in the near future. If you work for a company that handles any of these features please come talk to me.

I know that the site started out as a subscription service, then changed to offer the majority of features for free. How else has the site evolved over time? Actually, all of our features are FREE. We don’t hold back any of our features and never will. The only thing we charge for is to cover our costs of large amount of uploads and archiving of everything. Other than changing to a free model, we really haven’t changed anything since the launch. We’ve just been trying to listen to our members and give them what they want.  Members can give us feedback in a forums section of the site or via e-mail.

Are you planning on adding any additional features or services in the future? What are you currently working on? I’m non-stop designing new themes/designs for you to choose from for your baby book. New features are an ever growing list that we have running. A few things we will have in the future: full hd video, importing from other photo/video sites, custom photo galleries, Facebook/MySpace apps, as well as cleaning up the design of the overall site.

You also have a blog attached to the site. How does this add value to the site/community? The blog is ever evolving. Before we launched, it was a way for people to see where were in development, but since the launch it’s become a place to share cool things I see that I hope parents might find interesting. I’m not sure where it’ll go in the future - I’m definitely open to ideas.

Any other cool things happening that you’d like to share? Well I just got married a few days ago. That’s pretty cool. So I’m a new husband and working on becoming a new dad. Hopefully soon I’ll have my own kid on MyBabyOurBaby.com.

—————————

Ray Hernandez is Co-Founder and Creative Genius of MyBabyOurBaby.com. He is a web designer by day, and a new yet amazing husband by night. He just recently left Hawaii for Austin, Texas. He encourages people who sign-up and create an eBook for their child or family to provide him with feedback via e-mail at ray@mybabyourbaby.com or on Twitter: @raydawg88.

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

The Top 10 Most Underrated TV Dads

10. Dick Solomon - 3rd Rock From the Sun: The High Commander of the Solomon alien family works as a physics professor by day and expedition leader by night. Solomon is not the best father figure in the universe, in fact his selfish and arrogant antics often make him look downright foolish (how many dads do you know who save toenail clippings to avoid being cloned?), but in the end, he always stumbles upon a key life lesson for the family/crew to learn from and add to their experience on Earth. Quotable: “This is just perfect. I try to mold us into a family that will blend in, and what do I get? A surly teenager, a sister obsessed with a man, and a brother who drinks too much. Is there another family in the whole world like this? I don’t think so!”

9.  Hayden Fox - Coach: Hayden Fox is the typical, work-obsessed football coach of the Minnesota State University Screaming Eagles.  The only major distraction from his team was the relationship he had with his teenage daughter Kelly - his perfect “little girl” who he did not want to grow up.  When she up and married a theater mime, Fox was the perennial spoiler dad.  Eventually, he learns to let go and stop trying to protect Kelly from life and theater. He develops a love interest of his own, who could care less about his football or sports. Many divorced dads can relate to his experiences on the show, both with his daughter and dating.

8. Worf - Star Trek: The Next Generation: a galactic career man on the rise, Worf was also a widower and single dad to son Alexander. Worf was the kind of dad that taught his son the virtues of a warrior, and he often had to teach him to value of integrity and honor in dealing with others.  It wasn’t easy being a good guy from a bad race, and it was always interesting seeing him overcome the pressures of being an outsider in a leadership role.  Worf was a military dad with a big heart who always set a good example for his son to follow.

7. Philip Banks - The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: a Harvard educated attorney, Philip Banks was the atypical rags to riches dad who rose from farm boy to judge.  A towering figure, he blustered his way through fatherhood with not only his own kids, but also his nephew (Will Smith) from Philadelphia.  While he had a gruff and tough exterior, he was really a kind and generous man underneath and an excellent role model for young black men of the day. He was a board member for the NAACP, and hey, you gotta love a man who meets his wife on an episode of Soul Train.  The only thing bigger than his heart was the size of his stomach, which served as a the “butt” of many jokes on the show. Quotable: “A hard head makes for a soft behind.”

6. Gomez Addams - The Addams Family:Gomez was a dad with style.  Always dressed to the nines with his striped suit and necktie, and he was rarely seen without an expensive cigar in hand.  An expert swordsman, juggler and knife thrower, he taught his kids to react quickly and decisively to situations presented to them in life, albeit he lacked a concern for the dramatic.  Instead, he was an eternal optimist with a vibrant inner child.  He connected well with his kids on their level, and it was always fun to watch him interact with them and make all kinds of animal noises to get a laugh.  He was a lovable, goofy father and husband, and to top it all off, he was also a billionaire.  Quotable: “He wore that finger trap for two years. Mother had to teach him to eat with his feet.”

5. Dan Conner - Roseanne: Oh, big Dan Conner was a jolly old soul, a jolly old soul was he; he had a bossy wife Roseanne who whined and complained and four little kids on his knee.  Dan was a working class dad who has a hard time keeping a job, not for lack of trying though.  He is a good worker and role model for his kids, in a loud and twisted sort of way.  He is the dad who becomes the father figure to his daughters’ friends and boyfriends, and he is often seen helping his son DJ overcome the challenges of being a slightly odd kid who enjoyed beheading barbie dolls.  If there weren’t enough reasons to like him, his youngest child on the show was named Jerry Garcia Conner.  Dan was a great example of the every man’s dad in a working class town struggling to survive financially yet keeping a positive outlook on life no matter what.

4. Red Forman - That 70’s Show: As a former Chief Petty Officer in the Navy, Red is the kind of dad that never lacks for accountability.  Having said that, he is oblivious to the antics of his cheeba lovin’ son Eric and stoner friends Hyde and Kelso.  Still, Red manages to teach some of life’s most important lessons to the kids who always hang around his house, and he does it through a combination of shame, guilt and sarcasm.  Much of the humor of the show is centered around Red’s struggle with showing his true emotions and love for his wife and kids.  His traditional views of what it means to be a rough-and-tough man often conflicted with his real feelings of concern and pride for his children.  Red was much tougher on his son Eric because that is the way his father taught him to become a real man.  In Red’s house, similar to the military, there were rules and expectations for everything, and if they weren’t followed, you were bound to receive the acrimonious “dumbass” award.  Quotable: “Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.”

3. Uncle Jesse Duke - Dukes of Hazard: Uncle Jesse wasn’t the biological father to Bo, Luke and Daisy Duke, but he was the man who cared for and guided them.  He took the kids in after their parents died in a car accident, and then he raised them on the family farm like they were his own youngins.  Jesse made a name for himself as a moonshine ridge runner back in the day, and unfortunately, Bo and Luke followed in his footsteps and got arrested.  Jesse went to bat for them and agreed to cease all shine operations in order to get them released.  Having learned many lessons in life the hard way, Jesse dispensed simple, sage-like wisdom to Bo, Luke and Daisy.  Quotable: “Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather’s clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. Guy said, “Why don’t you watch where you’re going.” The drunk says, “Why don’t you carry a wristwatch like everybody else.’”

2. Herman Munster - The Munsters: Herman was a dad who really understood what it meant to be different.  Not only was he a creation of Dr. Victor Frankenstein, but also an adopted child to an exclusive British family.  Once he became a dad himself after fighting in WWII for the American Army, he settled into a fairly normal routine of being the sole bread winner and typical father of the day.  The difference was that he was over 7 feet tall and 380 pounds.  People often underestimated Herman, but he was smarter than he looked, especially when it came to sniffing out little tricks his son Eddie tried to pull.  By all accounts, Herman was your classic and typical working dad, only he was also a monster. Quotable: “You know, Eddie, I was so far ahead of the pack, the crowd had to run after me with torches to show me the finish line.”

1. Tim Taylor - Home Improvement: Tim “The Toolman” Taylor was an incredible tool-totin’, grunt-laughin’, fix anything kind of dad.  He was father to three boys and lived outside of Rock City (Detroit).  Tim had some unexpected help from a faceless neighbor Wilson when it came to understanding some of life and parenting’s toughest problems.  The problem is that he often misses a key point from Wilson and wrecks the advice/plan.  Tim’s own father died when he was just a boy, so that helps explain why he is so involved in his own boys’ lives.  He takes time to teach them new things in a “show-and-tell” manner, and if that doesn’t work, he will resort to more extreme measures (like blowing something up).  Quotable: “More Power!”

Agree? Disagree? Feel free to share your list or suggestions for the most underrated TV dad and why.

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

Somewhere along the way, though, exercise no longer became as important to me.  Amidst work and family, I lost my motivation to work out.  My concern with this is that my body has begun to change in ways that I definitely do not like.  Things are sagging and bulging, and don’t get me started on the entire hair thing (thinning on my head yet growing like a grizzly everywhere else).  I don’t want to end up looking like a deflated balloon with rolls of extra skin covering layers of fat where muscle once used to be.

More popular and funny pictures at Popular-Pics.com

The National Center for Health Statistics says that 70% of men 20 years or older are overweight. In order to be considered “overweight,” a person has a Body Mass Index of 25.0 - 29.9.  My current BMI is 29.5, compared to a 24.5 during the period in my life when I felt most healthy.  A simple way to calculate BMI is weight (lbs) x 703 divided by height (in) squared, or lbs x 703/in².

Fortunately for me, I’m a tall guy (6 foot 3 inches), so I can carry a little extra weight without looking like I’m really fat…until I take my shirt off.  The majority of the weight I’ve gained has been around my waist and buttocks.  This visceral fat has more than covered the six pack abs of yesteryear and replaced them with the proverbial spare tire.

The question I often ask myself is “how did I let it get this bad?”  It’s not like I have a good excuse, like being pregnant, to look to for justification. Although, I did eat enough for two during both of our pregnancies with my 2 youngest.

The answer is not as elusive as might think.  In most cases, barring a major injury, it is a result of our own failure to prioritize fitness that we end up looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.  In short, my motivation went to my stomach - I substituted eating for working out as a stress reliever.  It is a result of my decisions that my body has begun to balloon and soften.

Stay Puft Marshmallow Man

After a while, the substitution became habit, and it has been a really hard habit to break, in spite of the potential health concerns.  Obesity is linked to several conditions, including heart disease, Type 2 diabetes and sleep apnea.

Shouldn’t that be motivation enough to start working out again?  It’s not.

Here’s a few reasons why I think I’ve lost my fitness motivation:

1.  I’m happily married; or, I’m not in the meat market anymore

2.  My confidence is no longer primarily linked to physical appearance; I value mental and spiritual things much more now.

3.  My time is valuable, and I choose to spend it on more cerebral activities, like writing

4.  Life isn’t about me so much anymore - it’s about the kids and family, so going to the gym for several hours per day doesn’t seem right to me.

I’ll never be motivated to spend hours in the gym every day again.  There’s just too many other things that I’d rather do with my time.  Still, I need to find ways to incorporate some physical activity into my life again, if only to get my BMI down closer to where it used to be (BMI of 25 - 26 would be great).

Here’s 10 things I’ve done this summer to get me going on this new journey back to find my fitness motivation:

1.  Stopped drinking soda altogether

2.  Eating more fruits and vegetables as snacks

3.  Cut back significantly on chips and sweets

4.  Eat smaller portion sizes

5.  Try not to eat after midnight

6.  Go for a one mile walk 5 days per week

7.  Go hiking with one of my kids once per week

8.  Dumbbell lifting twice a week

9.  Old fashioned push ups and sit ups twice a week

10.  Wrestling and roughhousing with the kids as often as possible

So far, I’ve lost about six pounds, and I’m starting to feel like I’m getting my fitness motivation back.  It’s not at the same level as it was many years ago, but it is enough to get me on the path of achieving my goal of not being another big, fat male statistic.

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

A 2001 study at Columbia University found that 89% of families surveyed had fathers who took some time off from work after the birth of a child.  The majority of fathers took less than one week off, while a third took two weeks or more.  It’s no surprise that fathers with more skilled jobs and higher levels of education took more leave, as they could more easily afford to take unpaid leave.  Still, the numbers are an encouraging indicator that dads want to be more involved in child rearing.

How does Paternity Leave in America compare to the rest of the world?

Here’s some comparison information by region (full chart here):

As you can see from the chart above, the Paternity Leave policy in America is better than some countries and worse than others. A few, like Germany, Italy, Norway and Sweden, have extremely progressive options available that seem to encourage dads to take time off to care for their children.  The Columbia University study suggests that fathers who take more than 2 weeks paternity leave are much more likely remain engaged and involved in child-care responsibilities after they return to work.

Most countries around the world do not have legislation that specifies a father’s rights in this regard, so having the FMLA in America is certainly a benefit at least in terms of providing dads with a protected option to take leave.

In 2004, California was the first state in America to offer both moms and dads paid family leave with 55% pay for up to 6 weeks off.  Oregon, Vermont and Washington D.C. are also considered to have ‘dad friendly’ leave policies. According to the Proggressive States Network, Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey and Washington are also working on paid family leave legislation as well.

In most cases, the opportunity is there for American fathers to take some kind of Paternity Leave - paid or unpaid - after the birth of a child. Studies show that taking time to bond with a new child is beneficial for dad, the baby and the family, and while it’s encouraging to hear that 89% of dads take some time off, I can’t help but wonder what the benefits would be to American society if that same number of dads could take two weeks or more off of work to be engaged and involved in taking care of their kids.

Here’s an interview Dana Glazer from Evolution of Dad did with Dr. Kyle Pruett about the benefits of involved fatherhood (if you can’t see video below, click here for to view):

As fathers, we play an important role in the growth and development of our children, starting from the day they are born.  Not every dad has the opportunity to take leave to spend with his family, usually due to financial reasons or working for a company that doesn’t meet FMLA requirements.

Regardless of circumstance, every dad should fight to protect and expand the right of dads to take Paternity Leave without penalty, and perhaps one day in the near future America will be in that small group of progressive countries that understands the value of dads being involved in their kids lives from birth.

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.

In addition to retail partnerships, Upromise has arrangements with credit card companies and other service providers, such as hotels, online travel companies, rental cars, cruise lines and more. There are many ways for you to earn and save money.

Real life example: My family and I were able to earn around $600 last year through Upromise to help with contributions to my children’s 529 College Savings Plans.

The hardest part about earning money through Upromise is remembering to use your bonus cards, or to visit their site when making certain online purchases. As you can see from the example above though, your diligence can pay off.

You must have a qualifying 529 College Savings Plan linked to your account.

Joining Upromise is free, but setting up a 529 will cost you, at least, an initial deposit amount usually in the $250 - $500 range. With the future costs of a college education though, I hope that you are planning on putting aside at least that much on a quarterly basis for each of your children, if not more.  The good thing about a 529 for parents with more than one child is that the money is usually transferable from one to the next in line.

Upromise also offers a very good resource center to help you identify the best ways to save for college expenses, and there is a Community section with lots of tips and tales from fellow members.

If you don’t want to save for college, the Upromise Schools Program allows you to raise money for your local K-12 school.

Saving for college is a daunting task for most parents, so take advantage of the FREE MONEY available to you through Upromise.

©2010 Husbands and Dads. All Rights Reserved.

No related posts.

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.