If you noticed, we recently exceeded 300 subscribers and about 10 percent of you have also signed up for the forums.  While this is a good number, we believe that the articles posted here and topics started in the forums are more exciting when there are lots of comments and replies.

In short, the more people who come to the site, subscribe, leave a comment, join the Forums and participate in both, the more valuable this experience becomes to everyone involved. Husbands & Dads website and forums are both places where “it’s cool to be a family man,” but we need more men (and women) to participate in both venues, and we’re asking for your help!

Husbands & Dads has teamed up with some exciting partners in order to create our first ever contest geared towards rewarding you for referring your friends to the site.  The contest will have 2 parts - one will reward the Top Referring blog/personal site and the other will reward registered members of the Forums.

Husbands & Dads Refer A Friend Contest

Top Referrer

Grand Prize - $100 gift card to use at the online family bookstore Abunga.com

Second Prize - $25 gift card to the “smart” savings company SmartyPig

Third Prize - Variety pack of Man Cards from Thoughtful Gent, Inc.

Register for Forums Winner

Grand Prize - Schick Quattro Titanium Trimmer

Second Prize - $10 Joe’s Crab Shack gift card

Rules:

Top Referrer - the top referring blog or personal website from Monday, October 6, 2008, through Friday, October 31, 2008, will win the Grand Prize.  The second highest referrer will win the Second Prize.  Referrals will be measured in unique visits to HusbandsandDads.com.  You may want to write a blog post recommending the site to your readers, include a link in your blogroll or come up with a unique way to refer people.  You may also want to grab one of our badges from below and use them as well!

Register for Forums - we will select 2 random members who are registered for the Husbands & Dads Forums.  You must be an active member, which means that you need to have at least one post/reply during the month.  Pretty easy, huh!?!  Register for the Forums now to enter.

Here are a few Husbands & Dads badges for you to grab and use on your site to get referrals:

Thanks again to everyone for helping make the launch of Husbands & Dads such a great success!  We also hope that you will refer the site to a friend and encourage him to subscribe and register for the Forums!  Good luck to everyone!

Make sure to visit Abunga.com for your favorite family books!

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All of us want to become better fathers, and there is a lot to learn from great leaders of the past.

Here are 19 Things Dads Can Learn from Past Presidents:

1. Nobody is perfect. As John Adams said, “No man is entirely free from weakness and imperfection in this life.”

2. Values are a necessity in life. As Jimmy Carter said, “Our American values are not luxuries, but necessities— not the salt in our bread, but the bread itself.”

3. Punishment fits the crime. As Grover Cleveland said, “No man has ever yet been hanged for breaking the spirit of a law.”

4. Keep moving forward. As Bill Clinton said, “Yesterday is yesterday. If we try to recapture it, we will only lose tomorrow.”

5. You get what you pay for in life. As Dwight D. Eisenhower said, “There is no victory at bargain basement prices.”

6. Play fair and by the rules. As Millard Fillmore said, “An honorable defeat is better than a dishonorable victory.”

7. Life is not rocket science - don’t make things harder than they need to be. As Gerald Ford said, “Tell the truth, work hard, and come to dinner on time.”

8. Act on ideas and try new things. As James Garfield said, “Ideas control the world.”

9. Treat others with fairness, respect and dignity. As Benjamin Harrison said, “I pity the man who wants a coat so cheap that the man or woman who produces the cloth will starve in the process.”

10. No one likes a show off. As Herbert Hoover said, “All men are equal before fish.”

11. Be careful what you say. As Thomas Jefferson said, “When angry, count ten before you speak; if very angry, a hundred.”

12. Admit when you don’t know the answer or what to do. As Lyndon Johnson said, “You know, doing what is right is easy. The problem is knowing what is right.”

13. Embrace change. As John F. Kennedy said, “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.”

14. We all have something in common. As Abraham Lincoln said, “Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.”

15. Make the best of every situation. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

16. Take responsibility for your own actions. As Harry Truman said, “The buck stops here!”

17. Do a job right. As Martin Van Buren said, “It is easier to do a job right than to explain why you didn’t.”

18. Choose your friends wisely. As George Washington said, “Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company.”

19. All of us are smarter than one of us. As Woodrow Wilson said, “I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.”

No matter what your political persuasion, there are many things Dads can learn from past Presidents of the United States. In addition to these useful insights, it is important for all parents to talk about the upcoming national election in the U.S. on November 4th. One of the smartest things any dad can do is teach his kids the importance of voting.

What is your favorite quote, maxim or lesson learned from a past U.S. President?

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As your child grows into the teenage years, it’s healthy for him or her to develop their own identity and a sense of independence.  During this time, the relationship you have with them will be tested.  Some parents want their kids to treat them like a “friend,” but I’ve always found the my teenage daughter has enough friends.  She needs me to be a parent.  Still, I like to maintain a strong bond with her, even though it is at a further distance than prior times in her life.

10 Easy Ways to Bond with Your Teenager

1.  Schedule 2 days a month to spend time together one-on-one.  Let your teenager decide what to do on one day, then you decide what to do on the other.  Empower them to make decisions that you’ll actually agree to doing.  You may need to set some basic ground rules in advance, such as budget or time available.  Then, when it’s your turn to decide, pick something interesting and unexpected that might also be a pleasant surprise.

2.  Go to their games, practices or rehearsals.  They might not act like their scared, but most teens are nervous about competitive environments, mostly because they are afraid of failure.  Your presence is meaningful to them because you represent the strongest support network in their lives.  You may think that they’re ignoring you at these events, but they know you’re there and it does matter.

3.  Positive Talk - you show, they tell, every day.  Teenagers self-esteem hangs by a thread, and it’s easy for them to develop a habit of negative self talk.  You can enhance your relationship with them by setting a good example of positive self talk (show), while also teaching them to verbalize good things about themselves (tell).  Share with your teenager something you really like and appreciate about them every day, and then have them tell you something they really like about themselves too.  Make this about them and not you (trust me, that will not be hard to do - everything is about them!).

4.  Eat dinner together as a family.  Having a meal together as a family is an excellent way to open the door to family conversations.  If you’ve made this a habit prior to the teen years, then it will be easier to maintain afterward.  Teens will remember the family routines when they’re older, so you’re actually teaching them some important lessons now.  Get your teenager talking about his or her day.  Ask conversational questions.  Actively listen to them and engage in real, genuine conversation.  Put your work aside and turn the TV off.  Focus on your teen, and she will be more likely to focus on you.

5.  Help them with their homework or studies.  Making the transition from grade-to-grade during the teenage years is really hard for many kids, especially going from Middle School to High School.  Help your kids by setting rules, guidelines and expectations about homework and grades, and then take the time to help them build effective habits and understand the topics of study.  If they have a big test coming up, spend an hour quizzing them - you might actually learn some new things yourself!

6.  Volunteerism.  Most teenagers are involved in some kind of extracurricular activity, or you may be involved in something with the school or local community.  Either way, there is always a need for volunteers.  Ask your teenager what he or she is really passionate about, such as animals or the environment or elder care, then schedule some time to go and do volunteer work together.

7.  Pick a vacation destination that your teenager will actually enjoy.  Your teenager may feel like he or she is too old to go to Disneyland or Sea World, but Six Flags or Busch Gardens might be something they find more fun and exciting.  The beach is always a popular destination in the summer, and snow skiing is a fun winter activity.  Picking the right destination will greatly impact your teenager’s attitude about the trip, which will directly impact your ability to bond with him or her during that time.

8.  Enroll in an activity of their choice together.  Sign-up for karate, yoga, piano lessons, equestrian, the local 4-H or whatever they would like to do together with you (again within certain boundaries).  Doing activities like these with your teen gives you something in common to talk about other than school or friends or family.  It may also turn into something of great pride and satisfaction for you both.

9.  Play games - board games or video games.  This is one of my teenage daughter’s favorite things to do with me.  It’s easier to talk during board games, but video games may be slightly more exciting.  It’s hard to keep up with all of the video games, but it would be worth your while to learn how to play a few.  Many games also develop cognitive thinking skills, so you’re actually helping him or her while having fun.

10.  Be supportive of them when they fall.  Teens are an extremely emotional bunch.  They’re feelings are easily hurt, and every relationship they have is tenuous.  There are a lot of crying days for teens, so it creates an opportuntiy to comfort them, listen to and encourage them.

The bond you have with your teenager can be maintained with some effort on your part.  It may not seem like a big deal now, especially if you are feeling ignored or at odds with your teen, but they will remember it later in life. A father’s influence in a teenager’s life is critical.

Please feel free to share any tips you have for bonding with your teenager.

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