I really like media. But, I also really hate all the garbage that’s so often mixed in with it. I think this is probably something that a lot of people struggle with - wanting to enjoy watching, listening and playing - but not wanting to expose ourselves or our families to, well, crap.  Mike and I have some pretty solid ideas about how we handle this conundrum, so I thought I’d just share how we do things and some resources we use that might be of use to some of you out there in the blogosphere.

Movies at Home
Movies are definitely my favorite kind of media. Sometimes, all I want to do is just veg on the couch and pop in a movie. But I don’t want to hear any swearing, or see any sex, nudity, or too much violence. So that eliminates almost any non G-rated movie. Our solution? “ClearPlay,” one of our very favorite inventions. ClearPlay is a company that makes a DVD player that edits out all the crap, without editing the actual movie (hence it doesn’t infringe on copyright laws and is perfectly legal). The company doesn’t edit movies, they simply produce the filters that you use with the movies you buy or rent. We have our ClearPlay DVD player, and a “Filter Stick” (which is just a USB drive). All we have to do is periodically download the latest filters from the ClearPlay website, and we can watch practically any movie we want. Not only does it mute out swears, but it actually cuts out entire scenes that are inappropriate - and we can set the filtering to the level we want. So I can watch all my chick flicks that I love - but I don’t have to watch the sex scenes. We can watch a cool action movie with substantially less violence, etc. The DVD player was $60, and you do have to subscribe to be able to download the latest filters, but it’s only a few bucks a month. We got our player at Macey’s grocery store, but you can also check out their website: Clearplay.com.

At the Movies
Of course there’s no fix like that in the movie theater, and how do you know before you go to see a movie if there’s stuff you won’t like in it? Another great website - ScreenIt.com - is a great tool we use. You can look up any movie on ScreenIt and it will tell you exactly how much and what kind of profanity, violence, sex, scary scenes, etc. are in it, including movies that were just released in theaters. Before Mike and I will go see any movie (except G-rated ones), we check the website and see what it has in it. I think it’s easy to become desensitized to what’s in movies, but because of ClearPlay, Mike and I are actually SUPER sensitive to all the crap, since we never see/hear it. Because of that, if a movie has ANY profanity/sex, etc, in it, we we usually just wait until it comes out on DVD and watch it with ClearPlay. That usually means that we don’t see any PG-13 (and even some PG) movies in the theater, but we’ve learned patience, and usually don’t mind waiting.
*Note: if you go to the screenit.com website, it will look like you have to pay for the service. You don’t. Just scroll down to the very bottom and you’ll see a little “No Thanks” button - and you’ll go on to the website. You can pay a monthly fee - but that’s only to have access to info on brand new movies as soon as they come out. However, it usually only takes a week or so before the ‘new’ movies are available to non-paying visitors.

TV
We used to have a cool thing called TV Guardian that muted out profanity on tv shows as well as movies, but for some technical reason that Mike would be able to tell you, it doesn’t work with our current setup. So for TV shows that have stuff we don’t like in them, we usually do the same thing we do with movies - wait until they come out on DVD. Here again, ClearPlay is our best friend. They also do TV series! This waiting takes A LOT more patience though, since we have to wait for the series to end, THEN for it to come out on DVD. *sigh* For instance, we love “The Office,” but we only just barely saw the third season, since it just came out on DVD. We do still watch TV, but we mostly just watch ESPN (Mike), HGTV (Mary), Discovery and The History Channel. We also are occasionally American Idol junkies. If anyone can figure out a way to buy cable a la carte, as in just buying the channels you want, sign me up! We have a million channels we never watch and it feels like such a waste!

Internet
The internet has it’s own special kind of crap - called pornography - that is especially vile. Neither Mike nor I want pornography to be available in our home - regardless of whether or not we would actually look at it. We don’t even want the possibility. Our friend here is a program/website called K9 Web Protection. K9 is a free program that you can download that will protect your family from the majority of bad internet stuff. One person in the household (usually the wife/mother) has the password (yes, Mike doesn’t know our K9 password) and holds the power. With it I can block any website I want, any keywords I want, and make it so the internet can’t be accessed past a certain time without the password. That means that if I tried to look up anything with the word ’sex’ (or a plethora of other words) in the search phrase or website address, a K9 screen will pop up (complete with barking sound) and tell me I can’t proceed. I can also see all the websites that have been visited (and they can’t be deleted by deleting history or anything else). I think this will be extra useful when we have older kids, but it also gives me a sense of security now. It’s so easy to think “That can’t happen to us” or “My husband would never do that.” Don’t give temptation the chance. That’s my theory anyway.

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The Top 10 Most Underrated TV Dads

10. Dick Solomon - 3rd Rock From the Sun: The High Commander of the Solomon alien family works as a physics professor by day and expedition leader by night. Solomon is not the best father figure in the universe, in fact his selfish and arrogant antics often make him look downright foolish (how many dads do you know who save toenail clippings to avoid being cloned?), but in the end, he always stumbles upon a key life lesson for the family/crew to learn from and add to their experience on Earth. Quotable: “This is just perfect. I try to mold us into a family that will blend in, and what do I get? A surly teenager, a sister obsessed with a man, and a brother who drinks too much. Is there another family in the whole world like this? I don’t think so!”

9.  Hayden Fox - Coach: Hayden Fox is the typical, work-obsessed football coach of the Minnesota State University Screaming Eagles.  The only major distraction from his team was the relationship he had with his teenage daughter Kelly - his perfect “little girl” who he did not want to grow up.  When she up and married a theater mime, Fox was the perennial spoiler dad.  Eventually, he learns to let go and stop trying to protect Kelly from life and theater. He develops a love interest of his own, who could care less about his football or sports. Many divorced dads can relate to his experiences on the show, both with his daughter and dating.

8. Worf - Star Trek: The Next Generation: a galactic career man on the rise, Worf was also a widower and single dad to son Alexander. Worf was the kind of dad that taught his son the virtues of a warrior, and he often had to teach him to value of integrity and honor in dealing with others.  It wasn’t easy being a good guy from a bad race, and it was always interesting seeing him overcome the pressures of being an outsider in a leadership role.  Worf was a military dad with a big heart who always set a good example for his son to follow.

7. Philip Banks - The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: a Harvard educated attorney, Philip Banks was the atypical rags to riches dad who rose from farm boy to judge.  A towering figure, he blustered his way through fatherhood with not only his own kids, but also his nephew (Will Smith) from Philadelphia.  While he had a gruff and tough exterior, he was really a kind and generous man underneath and an excellent role model for young black men of the day. He was a board member for the NAACP, and hey, you gotta love a man who meets his wife on an episode of Soul Train.  The only thing bigger than his heart was the size of his stomach, which served as a the “butt” of many jokes on the show. Quotable: “A hard head makes for a soft behind.”

6. Gomez Addams - The Addams Family:Gomez was a dad with style.  Always dressed to the nines with his striped suit and necktie, and he was rarely seen without an expensive cigar in hand.  An expert swordsman, juggler and knife thrower, he taught his kids to react quickly and decisively to situations presented to them in life, albeit he lacked a concern for the dramatic.  Instead, he was an eternal optimist with a vibrant inner child.  He connected well with his kids on their level, and it was always fun to watch him interact with them and make all kinds of animal noises to get a laugh.  He was a lovable, goofy father and husband, and to top it all off, he was also a billionaire.  Quotable: “He wore that finger trap for two years. Mother had to teach him to eat with his feet.”

5. Dan Conner - Roseanne: Oh, big Dan Conner was a jolly old soul, a jolly old soul was he; he had a bossy wife Roseanne who whined and complained and four little kids on his knee.  Dan was a working class dad who has a hard time keeping a job, not for lack of trying though.  He is a good worker and role model for his kids, in a loud and twisted sort of way.  He is the dad who becomes the father figure to his daughters’ friends and boyfriends, and he is often seen helping his son DJ overcome the challenges of being a slightly odd kid who enjoyed beheading barbie dolls.  If there weren’t enough reasons to like him, his youngest child on the show was named Jerry Garcia Conner.  Dan was a great example of the every man’s dad in a working class town struggling to survive financially yet keeping a positive outlook on life no matter what.

4. Red Forman - That 70’s Show: As a former Chief Petty Officer in the Navy, Red is the kind of dad that never lacks for accountability.  Having said that, he is oblivious to the antics of his cheeba lovin’ son Eric and stoner friends Hyde and Kelso.  Still, Red manages to teach some of life’s most important lessons to the kids who always hang around his house, and he does it through a combination of shame, guilt and sarcasm.  Much of the humor of the show is centered around Red’s struggle with showing his true emotions and love for his wife and kids.  His traditional views of what it means to be a rough-and-tough man often conflicted with his real feelings of concern and pride for his children.  Red was much tougher on his son Eric because that is the way his father taught him to become a real man.  In Red’s house, similar to the military, there were rules and expectations for everything, and if they weren’t followed, you were bound to receive the acrimonious “dumbass” award.  Quotable: “Without rules, we all might as well be up in a tree flinging our crap at each other.”

3. Uncle Jesse Duke - Dukes of Hazard: Uncle Jesse wasn’t the biological father to Bo, Luke and Daisy Duke, but he was the man who cared for and guided them.  He took the kids in after their parents died in a car accident, and then he raised them on the family farm like they were his own youngins.  Jesse made a name for himself as a moonshine ridge runner back in the day, and unfortunately, Bo and Luke followed in his footsteps and got arrested.  Jesse went to bat for them and agreed to cease all shine operations in order to get them released.  Having learned many lessons in life the hard way, Jesse dispensed simple, sage-like wisdom to Bo, Luke and Daisy.  Quotable: “Guy come out of an antique shop carrying a big grandfather’s clock. Bumped into this drunk, broke the clock. Guy said, “Why don’t you watch where you’re going.” The drunk says, “Why don’t you carry a wristwatch like everybody else.’”

2. Herman Munster - The Munsters: Herman was a dad who really understood what it meant to be different.  Not only was he a creation of Dr. Victor Frankenstein, but also an adopted child to an exclusive British family.  Once he became a dad himself after fighting in WWII for the American Army, he settled into a fairly normal routine of being the sole bread winner and typical father of the day.  The difference was that he was over 7 feet tall and 380 pounds.  People often underestimated Herman, but he was smarter than he looked, especially when it came to sniffing out little tricks his son Eddie tried to pull.  By all accounts, Herman was your classic and typical working dad, only he was also a monster. Quotable: “You know, Eddie, I was so far ahead of the pack, the crowd had to run after me with torches to show me the finish line.”

1. Tim Taylor - Home Improvement: Tim “The Toolman” Taylor was an incredible tool-totin’, grunt-laughin’, fix anything kind of dad.  He was father to three boys and lived outside of Rock City (Detroit).  Tim had some unexpected help from a faceless neighbor Wilson when it came to understanding some of life and parenting’s toughest problems.  The problem is that he often misses a key point from Wilson and wrecks the advice/plan.  Tim’s own father died when he was just a boy, so that helps explain why he is so involved in his own boys’ lives.  He takes time to teach them new things in a “show-and-tell” manner, and if that doesn’t work, he will resort to more extreme measures (like blowing something up).  Quotable: “More Power!”

Agree? Disagree? Feel free to share your list or suggestions for the most underrated TV dad and why.

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