Husbands and Dads » Movies

Four Ways to Keep Your Family Media Safe

cory — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 06:30:15 +0000

Many fathers wonder how to keep their children safe from the influence of the media. We want our children to be protected from inappropriate material. How do we do that? Mary and Mike from Brudis and Brudette have some ideas:

I really like media. But, I also really hate all the garbage that’s so often mixed in with it. I think this is probably something that a lot of people struggle with - wanting to enjoy watching, listening and playing - but not wanting to expose ourselves or our families to, well, crap. Mike and I have some pretty solid ideas about how we handle this conundrum, so I thought I’d just share how we do things and some resources we use that might be of use to some of you out there in the blogosphere.

Movies at Home
Movies are definitely my favorite kind of media. Sometimes, all I want to do is just veg on the couch and pop in a movie. But I don’t want to hear any swearing, or see any sex, nudity, or too much violence. So that eliminates almost any non G-rated movie. Our solution? “ClearPlay,” one of our very favorite inventions. ClearPlay is a company that makes a DVD player that edits out all the crap, without editing the actual movie (hence it doesn’t infringe on copyright laws and is perfectly legal). The company doesn’t edit movies, they simply produce the filters that you use with the movies you buy or rent. We have our ClearPlay DVD player, and a “Filter Stick” (which is just a USB drive). All we have to do is periodically download the latest filters from the ClearPlay website, and we can watch practically any movie we want. Not only does it mute out swears, but it actually cuts out entire scenes that are inappropriate - and we can set the filtering to the level we want. So I can watch all my chick flicks that I love - but I don’t have to watch the sex scenes. We can watch a cool action movie with substantially less violence, etc. The DVD player was $60, and you do have to subscribe to be able to download the latest filters, but it’s only a few bucks a month. We got our player at Macey’s grocery store, but you can also check out their website: Clearplay.com.

At the Movies
Of course there’s no fix like that in the movie theater, and how do you know before you go to see a movie if there’s stuff you won’t like in it? Another great website - ScreenIt.com - is a great tool we use. You can look up any movie on ScreenIt and it will tell you exactly how much and what kind of profanity, violence, sex, scary scenes, etc. are in it, including movies that were just released in theaters. Before Mike and I will go see any movie (except G-rated ones), we check the website and see what it has in it. I think it’s easy to become desensitized to what’s in movies, but because of ClearPlay, Mike and I are actually SUPER sensitive to all the crap, since we never see/hear it. Because of that, if a movie has ANY profanity/sex, etc, in it, we we usually just wait until it comes out on DVD and watch it with ClearPlay. That usually means that we don’t see any PG-13 (and even some PG) movies in the theater, but we’ve learned patience, and usually don’t mind waiting.
*Note: if you go to the screenit.com website, it will look like you have to pay for the service. You don’t. Just scroll down to the very bottom and you’ll see a little “No Thanks” button - and you’ll go on to the website. You can pay a monthly fee - but that’s only to have access to info on brand new movies as soon as they come out. However, it usually only takes a week or so before the ‘new’ movies are available to non-paying visitors.

TV
We used to have a cool thing called TV Guardian that muted out profanity on tv shows as well as movies, but for some technical reason that Mike would be able to tell you, it doesn’t work with our current setup. So for TV shows that have stuff we don’t like in them, we usually do the same thing we do with movies - wait until they come out on DVD. Here again, ClearPlay is our best friend. They also do TV series! This waiting takes A LOT more patience though, since we have to wait for the series to end, THEN for it to come out on DVD. *sigh* For instance, we love “The Office,” but we only just barely saw the third season, since it just came out on DVD. We do still watch TV, but we mostly just watch ESPN (Mike), HGTV (Mary), Discovery and The History Channel. We also are occasionally American Idol junkies. If anyone can figure out a way to buy cable a la carte, as in just buying the channels you want, sign me up! We have a million channels we never watch and it feels like such a waste!

Internet
The internet has it’s own special kind of crap - called pornography - that is especially vile. Neither Mike nor I want pornography to be available in our home - regardless of whether or not we would actually look at it. We don’t even want the possibility. Our friend here is a program/website called K9 Web Protection. K9 is a free program that you can download that will protect your family from the majority of bad internet stuff. One person in the household (usually the wife/mother) has the password (yes, Mike doesn’t know our K9 password) and holds the power. With it I can block any website I want, any keywords I want, and make it so the internet can’t be accessed past a certain time without the password. That means that if I tried to look up anything with the word ’sex’ (or a plethora of other words) in the search phrase or website address, a K9 screen will pop up (complete with barking sound) and tell me I can’t proceed. I can also see all the websites that have been visited (and they can’t be deleted by deleting history or anything else). I think this will be extra useful when we have older kids, but it also gives me a sense of security now. It’s so easy to think “That can’t happen to us” or “My husband would never do that.” Don’t give temptation the chance. That’s my theory anyway.

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How Are Dads in America Evolving?

Jeremy — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 06:19:49 +0000

The traditional role of a dads in America is that of being the provider. According to the U.S. Census Bureau (2004), 73% of men above the age of 16 participated in the work force compared to 59% of women. Over the past few years though, the number of at-home dads has risen from 98,000 in 2004 to 159,000 in 2007. Change is happening, and people are definitely taking notice.

One such person is Dana Glazer, Director of the documentary film project The Evolution of Dad. Dana is making a film about the changing role of fathers in American society. I had a chance to talk with Dana about the film, where it’s currently at in production and what he’s gleaned from the project thus far.

How did The Evolution of Dad film originate?

I was seeking a documentary subject to focus on and an old NYU classmate suggested I make a film about At-Home Dads. However, after doing some research, it dawned on me that there has never been a documentary that explores the larger role of fatherhood and that the film should be more inclusive of all types of dads.

How far along in the project are you?

I’m still shooting and will continue to be shooting for some time. There’s a lot to cover.

What are your objectives in creating the film?

To inspire dads to get more involved with their kids. To educate people about how de-emphasized the role of fatherhood is in our culture.

How many interviews have you done? Which ones surprised you the most?

I’ve done several dozen already. What is always a great surprise is when listening to a subject I become completely immersed in what they are saying to the extent that I lose any sense of time. This has happened a few times and is always a great joy. It’s also a thrill when dads are willing to open up on a very deep, emotional level - something I know will be very cathartic for viewers watching when the film is done. An example is Ralph Benitez, a Bronx dad I’m currently following. To see what I mean, you can check out a clip here.

How has making the film impacted you as a Dad?

Well, first off it makes me appreciate being a dad more. It inspires me to try and be a better dad and live up to some of the subjects I’m covering. It’s also a challenge sometimes of trying to balance taking care of the kids and making the film.

Based on your experience, are dads “evolving”? How are things different now compared to 20 or 30 years ago?

Yes, there’s definitely some ‘evolution’ going on, but, honestly, I think too many dads of today are still a throwback to that 50’s idea of what a dad should be and don’t step out of the box when it comes to rethinking family/work balance. I believe thirty years from now they’re going to be looking at us present dads like we were cavemen.

What do you want people to learn from this film?

To question their situations when it comes to work/family balance and strive to find more creative ways of creating a balance. I hope it changes mindsets about how possible (or impossible) these things are.

How have you been able to finance the project?

Honestly, it’s been a struggle. I have some seed money from a generous friend, but it’s been a challenge to raise funds. Sometimes I think that the subject of fatherhood is so de-emphasized that people just fail to see how important it is and how much the world would truly change if more dads were genuinely involved in their kid’s lives.

When and how will the film be released?

TBD. Stay tuned.

Anything else you’d like to share?

Just that I really appreciate your support of my project, Jeremy, and all that you are doing to get the word out there about how important being a dad truly is. Keep it up!

Here’s the trailer for the documentary:

Dana Glazer is an award winning filmmaker and father of two young boys. He is currently making the documentary about the changing role of fatherhood, titled The Evolution of Dad. For more information please visit The Evolution of Dad.

If you would like to help support the film by making a donation, please click here.

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Kung Fu Panda Fun Family Movie

Jeremy — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 16:55:14 +0000

Action, adventure, comedy and Kung Fu - what more could a man want in a movie? I took my oldest daughter to see the movie Kung Fu Panda, and I’ve got to say it was one of the best kid movies I’ve seen in a long time. It’s a classic good versus evil tale, with a slighted pupil gone bad up against an unlikely hero. The interesting thing to me, though, was the plot being as much about the battle of self-doubt within, as it was about the battle against evil in the world.

Jack Black does the voice of Po the Panda, and I always enjoy his humor. Dustin Hoffman fills in the voice of the Kung Fu Master, and Angelina Jolie and Jackie Chan also portray characters. It’s always a good sign for a kids film when it attracts some of the top talent in Hollywood to do the voices, in my experience. Kung Fu Panda is no exception.

I don’t want to ruin the movie for anyone who hasn’t seen it, but I did want to offer up a positive recommendation. This movie had an important message to kids, and it came through in a fun and accepting way. The message was that you don’t need something “special” given to you to make you a better person. It was about recognizing your own inner (and perhaps hidden) strengths.

All of the Kung Fu, action and adventure were just a bonus. I definitely think this is a film Dads will enjoy taking the kids to watch. You’ll leave feeling better than you did when you arrived, and it could even inspire a conversation between you and the kids about self-image and self-esteem.

Here’s one of the trailers to give you a little glimpse at the story line:

Anyone else who’s seen it have an opinion? Did you like it? Hate it? What did you think?

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