8 Unique Ways to Help Your Wife Relax
Posted on 20 August 2008 by cory
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No man wants his wife to be stressed out. If she’s the love of your life, then you definitely want her to help relax, right? Just telling her to relax usually doesn’t work. Here are some things you can do to help her, some pretty common, others a little unconventional.
Try a foot massage. Odds are that your wife has spent most of the day either working, chasing after the kids, or both, while also preparing meals, balancing budgets, and fixing owies. Foot massages release endorphins, ease tension, and by their very nature force people to sit or lie down for a while. There are few things that help a person relax better than a foot massage. Learn how to give a foot massage, or take your wife to a reflexologist.
Alexander Technique. Developed by F. M. Alexander in the early 1900’s, Alexander technique was originally created as a way of releasing excess tension from the throat to allow for free expression. Now, Alexander technique practitioners help their clients dance, sing, and walk better. Even just a few visits with a licensed practitioner can give your wife the skills to let go of excess tension. To find a teacher visit the Official Alexander Technique website.
Reiki. Of Japanese origin, Reiki practitioners believe that a person can learn to consciously guide a person’s life energy to promote clarity, relaxation, and healing. According to Reiki.org, “A treatment feels like a wonderful glowing radiance that flows through and around you. Reiki treats the whole person including body, emotions, mind and spirit creating many beneficial effects that include relaxation and feelings of peace, security and well being. Many have reported miraculous results.”
Massage Therapy. Most people are familiar with massage therapy, but did you know that there are many different levels of massage therapy? In addition to the “deep tissue” massage that many are familiar with, massage therapists are often trained to do shallow massages that don’t hurt as much, localized massages on certain trouble spots, as well as Lymphatic massage, a very light touch massage that is designed to relax surface muscles and stimulate the Lymph system, thus helping the body rid itself of toxins.
Spa Treatments. There are day spas everywhere, and sending your wife to a spa for the afternoon can make her feel absolutely wonderful. Spa professionals will mud wrap, cucumber treat, massage, pedicure, manicure, and align your wife into a happy, content being. Familiarize yourself with prices before you send her as spas can run from inexpensive to prohibitively costly. Visit SpaFinder.com to find your local spa. You might even decide to do a couple’s spa treatment (but this is about her, not you, right?)
Treat her to a lavish bath. Familiarize yourself with things like scented candles, bath bombs, bath salts, essential oils, lotions, terry cloth towels, soft water, and bubble bath. Now, pick and purchase an array of scented bath accompaniments that you think she’ll like. If you do, I promise your wife will not only be grateful but will be impressed that you took the time to care. Extra points if you can find scents that you both like, so that when she gets out of the tub you can’t help but get close to her.
Yoga. Not that crazy sweat-room Bikram Yoga that is so popular lately, but Iyengar, Hatha, or Anusara Yogas all emphasize body alignment, meditation, and are more gentle than Bikram. While not immediately relaxing while doing the exercises, yoga builds flexibility and strength which allows for ease of relaxation later.
Get her to talk to her girlfriends. Seriously. For you newly married guys, you’ll grow to understand this. As wonderful of a husband as you undoubtedly are, women need female conversation, even if they won’t admit they do. You just don’t have the female perspective.
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Tags | advice, Marriage, relaxation
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August 20th, 2008 at 7:25 am
I’m convinced Kim married me due to the fact I give a good foot massage. I enjoyed this post and think I’ll look at getting her one from a professional to earn some points when I’ve been a butthead.
August 20th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Cory, thanks for this post! I NEED a way to get my wife to relax, I need a way to get ME to relax too. We hardly have time to see each other and live more of a virtual marriage and life right now because when we are at home our two kids, (3.75 and 2) demand my wife’s attention. they crave it, they fight for it, she therefore pulls her hair out! and I go nuts as well. I do a lot of other things to help out but it never seems like it’s enough!
She needs alone time and lately I’ve been giving her more and more, i took the kids out of her hair last weekend to the zoo. She had the whole morning alone, but she needed it, she had strep throat and needed to sleep!
I agree, a good foot massage or full body massage is a great way to relax. She’s had trips to the spa for such occassion but I enjoy giving her a relaxing massage and she loves it! she always thinks I’m some secret masseuse.
I also agree that she needs to communicate MORE with other mommies out there. I’ve found GREAT help in sharing my issues with dads and moms via twitter (@DaddysToolbox) and in reading blogs. My wife spent an afternoon tagging clothes and toys for a huge outgrown sale with one of our friends. that was a good time for her (despite having to tag) and good for her to be with other mommies.
I need to do something to get her and I calm at home so we aren’t so on edge. that’s not healthy! thanks for this great advice again!! you and jeremy are doing a great job!
August 20th, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I highly recommend getting some Yoga DVDs and a couple of mats cheap from Target or something. My wife and I did yoga in the evenings, after the kids were in bed and it helped both of us relax and unwind. But it also helped each of us feel like we were doing something good for our bodies.
I recommend this series (http://www.amazon.com/MTV-Fitness-Pilates-Power-Yoga/dp/B0001A7UZ2/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1219248593&sr=1-4) , surprisingly, done by MTV. It’s decently paced for beginners, with separate DVDs for more advanced Yoga-ers, and the music isn’t obnoxious.
Plus, any excuse you can find to get your wife to be all bendy and stuff in front of you is a big plus in my book!
August 20th, 2008 at 6:53 pm
Great new ideas Cory! In the past, I have bought my wife a Sephora gift card and told her to go have some fun and buy some things to help her feel good/relax. Sometimes it works, sometimes the mall is stressful to visit. Now I have some new things to try.
August 23rd, 2008 at 9:05 pm
A relaxed wife makes a relaxed man. A stressed out wife makes a very, VERY stressed out man.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:52 am
A very very useful post, Cory. And perfectly timed for someone like myself, who is a newbie in this parenting business. This month my daughter will complete her first year and it has been completely stressful for both of us, trying to get used to this new variable in the equation!
We are slowly coming to terms with it, struggling with our fights and differences which keep cropping up. I am sure I will do good to make an extra effort to get my wife to relax…
And Anthony Russo, hit the nail on the head:
>>A relaxed wife makes a relaxed man. A stressed out wife makes a very, VERY stressed out man.
September 4th, 2008 at 9:50 am
Lovely post
I’m a wife and I’m surprised one particular thing hasn’t been mentioned which is a definite winner… do some of your wife’s chores!! The best gift my husband can ever give me is NOT having to deal with a dreaded chore, like washing the dishes or hanging out the washing.
If you have the $ you could also splash out and pay a cleaner to clean the house top to bottom, or send the ironing away to be done. I’ll take my chores being done for me ANY day over massage or flowers
September 4th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
I’m currently divorced, but I saw the link on Zen Habits and was curious about your eight ideas. I think they’re wonderful ideas. I know they would have helped me relax. I think the point about investigating some bath products on your own is a thoughtful one. Shopping isn’t always fun. I like lush.com for awesome but pricey bath treats — once a year I buy a few things for myself there.
I hope you (or someone) will post eight great ways to help your husband relax, too.
September 4th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
I totally agree with Anna. Yes I crave a foot massage at the end of a long day, but i crave not having to do the dishes after that massage. It doesn’t take away the chores around the house. Wipe down the counters. Pick up the socks sprawled out on the floor. That would make me less stressful.
September 4th, 2008 at 5:48 pm
My wife and I both shop at Lush, there’s a store just a few blocks away from our house. It’s waaaay better than Bath & Body Works, or others stores like it.
I’ll have to be sure to help my wife with her chores, and Dot, I think I might just write that post on how to help husbands relax. It’s a great idea!
September 5th, 2008 at 8:44 pm
Yay for husbands who help around the house! Mine leaves for work after me, and he has recently got into the habit of making the bed, straightening the pillows on the couch, and putting away the dishes before he leaves the house. Just those little things make a difference when I walk in the door at the end of the day. It makes me feel like I’m walking into my home instead of walking into more work.
September 6th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Shouldn’t the title be 8 Unique Ways to Help Your Wife Relax until she starts nagging again?